Just a moment ago I was here. And now. And now my head his spinning and I can't walk straight. And i'm hardly even sure if i'm the same person I was that one moment ago.
We allow ourselves to become pushed a long by so many decisions that aren't our own, and in doing so we lose pieces of ourselves a long the way.
In the toss and tumble things like ideals, and hopes for the future, get lost in the dirt and you get rolled into someone else's desires and someone else's goals. You're left standing in the rubble, some Frankenstein concoction of other peoples ideas of who you are or who you should be.
Somewhere along the road I chose the path of least resistance. In doing so I freely gave away pieces of myself that made me who I was. Knowingly, willingly, I relinquished aspects of my life that brought me joy, simply because it was easier then fighting to keep them.
I never would have been able to guess what the repercussions in doing so would be.
Hindsight is an interesting thing, and with it I wonder if I would have done anything differently.
But time spent dwelling on the past is time wasted not taking an active role in your future. If any lessons have been learned it is this,
No matter your situation, no matter however limited you may feel, there are always options. There is always a choice, and we are never powerless to make it.
Choice is a gift that we have been granted and it is foolish to blindly ignore it.
Choice isn't easy. Every decision in life is give and take.
Ebb and Flow.
However difficult it may be though, make it. You decide. You be responsible because it is your life and you're the one that has to live it. Make it for you. Refusing to make a choice, in standing idly by while you are swept away by someone else's decisions, you will find your self on foreign shores and you will have to make a home there.
Consequences are ever occurring, regardless of whether or not they are the result of a choice, or of the failing to make one.
I've allowed myself to be swept up,
to quote a movie I'm too proud to name, I stood at the bow of a ship about to jump simply because of "the inertia of my life. and me powerless to stop it"
But you see, that's where I was wrong. We are never. Never powerless. We may be limited. But we are never powerless.
So although I've allowed myself to be blown a bit off course. I will, and I recommend you do the same if ever you find yourself in a similar position, gather my wits about me, brush the dirt off, and carry on, in the direction of my choosing.
