I normally do a lot of reflection about who I am, who I was, who I hope to be.
I do a lot of reflection about who's important to me and what I wish this coming year brings them.
And then I jot it all down and string it together in sentences filled to the brim with semi colons and commas.
When 2010 ended I had felt so assured that I had gained this incredible understanding of the world. I felt as though I knew so much. "It's been a challenging year," I thought to myself, "but somehow, I ended up on top." I felt so equipped and able to handle any of the multitude of obstacles that would be hurled at me.
Oh irony, how is it we keep bumping into each other like this?
Just as I was wrong about Lance Bass's heterosexuality, just as I was wrong about which freeway exit to take every time I drive home, just as I was wrong about how many shots of tequila I can stomach, I was also wrong in my expectations for 2011.
It was not a rosy year for yours truly. Those obstacles I thought I was oh so prepared for? They caught me quite off guard. Not only did I trip, I stumbled, fell, rolled down a metaphorical flight of stairs, and landed bruised and battered at the bottom of a metaphorical well.
Le sigh. Tis life.
Wait! Don't go! The optimism you're searching for is coming! Bear with me a moment longer! Please!
Here is the familiar cheerful, whimsy you all turn to me for.
What, my dear friends, do we find at the bottom of a well, but wishes?
I love wishes. I've been making them my whole life.
I used to wish for kittens and ponies.
Then for princes,
Then for good grades.
Then for cars.
Adventure.
A bit of luck.
I've wished for safety.
I've wished for romance.
I've wished for health, and happiness, and time, and strength to get though the day.
I've wished on candles, stars, lucky pennies, dandelions.
I've wished at 11:11, wished upon waking, and wished before going to sleep.
I love wishing.
At the bottom of my metaphorical well I found my old wishes, and resolved to put them to good use. I stacked them on top of one another and climbed up them, one step at a time, each leading me closer to the next, each guiding me further out of darkness and closer to light.
You see, even when you've reached rock bottom, as long as there is something you want, something you need, you can find it in you to keep going. Go after it. Chase it. Use that wish, that dream, that desire, and never stop until you get it.
Don't stop at the bottom.
Never stop at the bottom.
Never stop.
That's what 2011 has taught me. Keep wishing. Keep climbing. Never stop. Even when you're tired. Even when it hurts.
My resolutions are
To be braver
To be kinder
To be stronger.
And to every single day, be thankful for every single day.
And to never stop believing in the power of wishes, and stars, and dandelions.
I want to think good thoughts. I want to laugh. I want to make other people happy. I want to be happy. I want and I wish and I will. I will not stop and neither should you.
We've got something incredible at our fingertips. So reach a little, try to grasp it. One step at a time.
Happy New Year.
